Anniversary Special

I didn't blog last night because it was our wedding anniversary and we were out celebrating. Our beautiful daughter went to spend the night with her grandparents and we enjoyed a four-course fondue meal at the Melting Pot. They seated us in a private booth which, was basically our own little room. We dressed up for the occasion and I adorned a navy blue and nude dress with my navy heels. Billy looked dapper in slacks, a button up and his dress shoes. It was extremely nice to treat ourselves to a delicious dinner and a very rare baby-free night.
Thinking back on our three years of marriage I am just so happy I found him. He is such a hard worker but always makes time for us. He is an amazing chef but steps back to let me bake cookies or create a side dish. He is wise beyond his years. He makes me laugh every day even when things look bleak. He's tender and yet so passionate. He gets along with everyone. He is the best father in the world and so patient. He joins me when I'm feeling adventurous, follows me when I'm feeling fearless, leads me when I'm feeling powerless, builds me up when I'm feeling nervous and holds me when I'm vanquished.
When we first started talking there were so many obstacles in the way of our relationship. I remember we were at a park, phones turned off and walking the trails. He was angered by an ex and walking helped cool him down and put things in perspective. After the walk we sat at a picnic table by the water and he told me he wanted to be with me always. We drove back to my apartment and said our goodbyes. As he walked down the hall he suddenly turned back and kissed me then asked, "Will you marry me?" I pushed him so hard and yelled, "Too Soon!". We both laughed about it for months. Then we started dating. Lying in bed and talking he was playing with my phone. He tossed it back over to me and then ran out of the room. He had made us "Facebook Official" a joke that you can't really be in a relationship unless it says so on your Facebook profile.
A month before we found out that we were pregnant he proposed again. Once again I told him it was too soon and that we would never make it. Both recently divorced I assumed you had to take some time before entering into a new marriage. He countered with the fact that our first marriages were over way before the word divorce was actually spoken. I remember kissing him and saying "Let's just play it by ear".
Fast forward 6 months and while laying in bed once again, only this time pregnant with our son Riley, he had his hand on my stomach and Riley was kicking him. He whispered, "Please marry me.". I rolled over and the only thing I could ask was "Why?!". He said, "I have so many answers to that but all I can think is because I love you and I want to marry you.". Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones or my complete exhaustion but that answer seemed to be perfect to me. I think I called him an idiot and said yes. He joyously exclaimed, "Third time is the charm!".
Three months later we lost our son. Riley was born on July 24th stillborn. I thought nothing would ever save me from the downward spiral into depression and madness that would surely ensnare me. We found strength within each other. Taking turns with the depression and the sorrow. Holding and comforting sometimes, pushing and motivating during others. We were united forever with the most painfully agonizing breaking of our hearts. To this day the loss of Riley is felt heavily in our home but we have also learned to embrace his short life and find ways to channel our sadness into positive acts for others or our daughter.
Three months later we were wed and we brought back a little souvenir from the honeymoon. The following July our daughter Chloe was born. She has been such a light in our lives. Every bad day at work disappears when you see her smiling face. She challenges us and makes us laugh. She is independent, feisty, loving, so smart it's scary, and the center of our world. Our children pin us to each other but our love and trust is the thread that keeps us together.
Now it has been four and a half years since that walk in the park and three years of marital bliss. I love him with everything I have, everything I am and everything that I will become.